“I won’t pull my weenie out on you”

Yes, the title of this post is a direct quote of an inmate speaking to me. When he said that though I felt more relieved than weirded out, and here’s why…

He is a known IEX-er. That stands for Indecent Exposure, which around here basically means an inmate was jacking off at an inappropriate time in an inappropriate place. It usually happens during a group or a one on one with a clinician, and of course on the receiving end of the act there’s the victim, which is always a female staff (at least as far I know, I wouldn’t be surprised if it happened sometime somewhere to a male staff).

This guy, we’ll call him inmate S, has built up quite a reputation for himself. So much so, I heard about him way before I ever saw what he looked like.

It spread through the staff gossip grape vine that inmate S was back in ASU (aka the hole- I explain what that is in a previous post, but its basically the mini jail within the prison). I heard the news and immediately thought of my groups there on Saturdays… and wondered if I would be so unfortunate to meet the infamous inmate S.

Saturday morning I pulled up the group list names and began to read them from top to bottom. I was only a few names down then there he was. Inmate S. I freakin knew it…

“Well” I thought to myself “Today may be the day someone whips ‘it’ out in group…”

But I had my alarm and working here it’s not so much a matter of IF you ever get IEX’ed but WHEN you get IEX’ed, so I just figured if it was going to happen at some point, why not today? (honestly around here you have to keep gross and sad things light hearted otherwise stuff will get to ya)

So I walk into group and there he is, sitting in the second cage from the door.

“What’s your name?” he asks, “Miss J” I reply.

As we make our introductions the C.O.’s finish up locking up the last inmate and one of them asks to talk to me outside. I go out and shut the door. The C.O. ends up warning me about inmate S and how he was taken off wearing the Marshmellow Suit (It’s a suit IEX-ers wear that’s thick and prevents them from accessing their ‘part’ during groups), so I should just be extra extra aware.

The C.O. leaves and I go back into group now almost expecting for an IEX to happen with all the buzz I’ve heard about him. Immediately inmate S asks “Was that about me?” I tell him yes, and then he starts a ramble of defenses, and the bits and pieces I took were

Don’t listen to the rumors Mrs. J… They’re not all true… I’m not like that… They’re just mad because…

And then he concludes with…


What a relief!

So I in fact did not see a weenie that day. Thank. The. Lord. Jesus.

However… I know this isn’t over… I mean I cover some of his groups and I see him on Saturday’s. He’s been acting more and more comfortable every time, and apparently he’s been requesting me to primarily run his groups.

So who knows what might happen down the road… Updates on him to come…

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